Dancing with the Washed-Up Has-Beens

BY: GURU JAY

Dancing with the Washed-Up Has-Beens

On Thursday, I watched Dancing with the Stars (DWTS). You know I didn’t see a lot of stars. All I saw were washed-up has-beens.

Why am I so harsh? According to Dancing with the Stars everybody is a celebrity. If this is the case, who wants to be famous?

I want to be a millionaire instead.

DWTSfunctions like Twitter. As a consequence, the show is in decline. It’s losing because it serves a minority. The best shows cater to the majority.

Do you watch DWTS religiously? Do you see what I see? What do you like about the imported TV show?

Don’t get me wrong. The show is watchable. There were many high points and bright moments during the premiere.

However, the hosts are capable of providing better entertainment. Why do we need two hosts anyway? Tom Bergeron can host the show all by himself.

Also, I don’t mind the judges individually but they lack teamwork. It’s about DWTSfirst, and the hosts and judges second. Listen up, DWTS…

I got four words for you: Randy, Paula, Simon and Ryan. The reason American Idol broke records is because of the show’s chemistry. It’s too bad they couldn’t recuperate.

American Idol wasted millions. They treated folks like Frankenstein. When Paula Abdul left, the ratings never recovered.

Ratings

Will the audience stop watching? I’m afraid that DWTS could go the American Idol way. But, I believe DWTS will revamp and retool.

Don’t mess with a winning formula. If it works, leave it alone. If it doesn’t work, fix it.

It’s clear that Dancing with the Stars is getting old. My recommendation is to fire Erin Andrews. And, Keep Bergeron to stay credible.

Why on earth is Andrews on DWTS? Erin should go back to ESPN and hone her craft. 

Right now DWTS is inauthentic.

Here’s an idea: give Erin her own show. Let her do whatever she wants. But preserve her brand.

Fortunately, it’s not too late. DWTS can still become the default TV show. As long as they serve families, Dancing with the Stars will maintain its relevancy.

I call it the Kim Kardashian rippling effect. Anyone who associates with her is a celebrity. And, anyone who associates with her associates is a celebrity. And so on…

This is the 19^th season of DWTS. Why is this Alfonso Ribeiro’s first appearance? 

I point the finger at the producers.

I expected a shorter show. Two hours is one hour too long for a talent show. What’s your opinion as a fan?

In spite of the shenanigans, I give Monday’s premiere a B +, because season 19 has a tasty mix of talent. The casting crew created an interesting selection.

Weeks To Come

In the weeks to come, look for drama. All TV shows experience a rough patch. Who’s going to lose their cool this time?

Julianne Hough is out to prove herself. Some say she’s living in her brother Derek’s shadow. Many celebs feel she is unqualified.

Len Goodman is an accomplished dancer. He doesn’t like Julianne. Body language speaks volumes. Len takes this stuff seriously.

Applaud Dancing with the Stars for making this tweak. They recognized Julianne Hough’s potential as a judge. She is a triple threat celeb who adds value.

But, is Julianne qualified in the eyes of Carrie Ann and Bruno? They won’t admit their distaste for her publicly. But, you’re smart enough to see through it.

Casting Tommy Chong was a good decision. But Lolo Jones sucked. In fact, Lolo got booed.

She came out the gate with a negative attitude. Why? Lolo is her own worst enemy.

Bruno likened Tavis Smiley to a nifty fifty. Yeah right! Watch the stiff Smiley get voted off next week.

I’ve seen a dramatic shift this season. They’re showcasing top talent. And it’s not unusual!

Save the last dance for Carlton. He’s the obvious front- runner. Jimmy Kimmel picked himto win before the first show aired.

Still watch out for the Duck Dynasty daughter. She’s young and limber. You know the youngest contestants have an edge.

Although the mature stars look sharp now, can they stay in shape for the long haul? How many times did dancers withdraw from competition because of broken backs?

It’s nice seeing celebrities do splits and flips. But I don’t want anybody to get hurt. Don’t try to be 25, when you’re really 75.

Which brings me to my question: Should we institute an age limit? The answer is a resounding no.

Instead impose strict physical policies. Stars should meet a certain fitness level. This is not the Biggest Loser. This is Dancing With the Stars, people!

On The Judges

And the last thing we need is to lose a star due to political correctness (no one wants to offend senior citizens). The AARP is powerful. Case in point, you don’t see an 80 year-old NASCAR driver. Why can’t our oldest celebrities judge?

Midway through the season, these judges will click. DWTS doesn’t have to break the bank in order to put on a worthy show. That’s why the franchise continues to succeed.

How does Fox justify giving “judges” 8 figure salaries? I’ll shut-up because I may receive an offer. Seriously though, it’s wasteful spending. My grandpa said, “don’t waste money.”

How many mouths can we feed with $10 million? All I am saying is to take responsibility for your actions as well as your inactivity. If they pay you $20 million, that’s fine. But make sure you don’t behave foolishly.

Fate

I’m a firm believer that it takes money to make money. Dancing with the Stars may be too conservative for its own good. I’m against wasteful spending but you must invest.

If you don’t invest your cash, you’re wasting money. Next season, the show will celebrate its 20^th anniversary. So I suspect they’re saving up for a spectacular special event.

No show will survive without viewers. Don’t stop watching Dancing with the Stars. And, don’t stop believin'!